79 Comments

"hoary old double standard"Isn't that redundant?

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Replace ‘women’ with ‘men’ and ‘bitch’ with ‘asshole.’

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To follow up on my previous comment, one way NOT to motivate women to speak up is to claim that women who do speak up are perceived as bitchy and pushy.

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I question Jezebel's assertion that women are perceived as being "bitchy" or pushy if they speak up. I've never seen any evidence of that myself. In fact, my recent experience has been just the opposite: our company recently hired a female intern for a few months, and when she spoke up in meetings to provide her perspective, my own reaction was to view her as more knowledgeable and experienced than I had previously assumed, and I saw nothing but positive and attentive reactions from others as well.

Perhaps this is a case of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you go into a meeting with a chip on your shoulder and the expectation that you will meet with negative reactions if you speak up, this is likely to come through in your body language, tone of voice, etc., producing the very negative reaction that was expected. (I myself have had this kind of experience in other contexts, of having a social interaction go badly largely because I went into it expecting opposition and conflict.)

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I think assertiveness and unpleasantness can be usefully distinguished between.  The bit at the end that Lindy writes goes a little beyond "assertive" in to "unpleasant" territory, IMO.

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Why do you presume the OP is a sir?

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Conflict avoidance.

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Why are you assuming that bitchiness is a quality one is born with, like looks or intelligence, instead of as a personality trait that can be modified? People who are bitchy might complain about others who consider them bitchy and label it unfair, but they have the ability to change that perception, unlike the ugly person. Not taking steps to change their demeanor suggests that they care less about how people perceive them.

In such a way, a better analogy might be that being bitchy is like being fat: sometimes you can't help it, but at the margin if you really are concerned about it you can make changes one way or the other.

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Not sure why you have to assume Robin has to be embarrassed.

Because Robin retained the option not to call on students repeatedly. He was embarrassed (but not impaired as a teacher) when students raise their hands anyway.

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Not sure why you have to assume Robin has to be embarrassed.  When one student answers everything - even when they get everything right - it makes it really hard to teach the rest of the class.  

As a teacher, you don't want to just hand all the students the answers because you want to work them through each component of the problem and get them to think.  But if one person is just answering everything immediately everyone else just shuts down and coasts.

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Unless "having good ideas" and "talking about your ideas" are completely correlated, we're missing out on good ideas.

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(1) Simply isn't true.  There is a lack based on a willingness to pay paltry wages for the amount of effort.  More women engineers won't change this unless they are coming from a third world country.

What he said. Outside of a few specializations, engineering salaries haven't been increasing. If there's really an engineer shortage, where are the engineers with $200,000 annual salaries?

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 For a retired person, status wouldn't be a sensible motive for attending college. The diploma's main status-related function--credentialing for employment--is absent in a retiree.

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The one who dominates class discussion. No contest.

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Sarcasm registered and appreciated.

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Yes, there seems to be a whole group of people not taken into account--the assertive women who do speak up and, while not bitches themselves, are perceived as bitches because of their assertiveness.  When Lindy West claims she is a bitch, I don't necessarily think she's claiming that she's a bad person, but only owning the title and accepting that whether or not she is, some people will call her that simply because she is speaking up. I'd like to think she is simply owning that (and encouraging others to own that) so that when it happens she'll be ready. (I wasn't ready ... )

I feel like it's kind of a mind-trick.  If you accept yourself as a "bitch," then when other people call you that, you won't feel the need to appease them.  You'll just say "Well, that's who I am." Whether that's a healthy way of thinking, I don't know ...

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