More from How To Win Friends And Influence People: Jesse James probably regarded himself as an idealist at heart. … The fact is that all people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation. J. [P.] Morgan observed … that a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one. The person himself will think of the real reason. You don’t need to emphasize that. But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives. …
You speak of a long-vanished period (19th c.), when cultures were homogeneous and values were shared.Multiculti destroyed all that, so a shared culture is a fantasy, unfortunately.
Do you think that pointing out idealistic reasons also appeals to others' far mode inclinations? They might be more willing to take advice that they personally find less practical if you present it to them with far mode implications. Changing opinions seems like something we can constantly come up with near mode reasons to avoid (even if the reasons aren't all that good).
Somehere a while back I saw reference to a study that showed if you presented people with a presumption of idealistic behavior, they actually would tend to behave more idealistically.
You speak of a long-vanished period (19th c.), when cultures were homogeneous and values were shared.Multiculti destroyed all that, so a shared culture is a fantasy, unfortunately.
There is a shout out to Dale Carnegie in jonathan haidt's new book.
Do you think that pointing out idealistic reasons also appeals to others' far mode inclinations? They might be more willing to take advice that they personally find less practical if you present it to them with far mode implications. Changing opinions seems like something we can constantly come up with near mode reasons to avoid (even if the reasons aren't all that good).
Somehere a while back I saw reference to a study that showed if you presented people with a presumption of idealistic behavior, they actually would tend to behave more idealistically.
"Every generation gets the self-help guru that it deserves" http://www.newyorker.com/re...
What does how to gain friends say about its time that would not hold true today?