Back in 1983, at the young age of 18, my old friend Max More published an article saying he didn’t see what’s wrong with adults propositioning kids for sex.
It is difficult to comprehend how merely becoming friendly with a child, and then encouraging him or her to indulge in sexual activities, can be a violation of rights. … Many people will object that … individuals below the age of consent, do not know what they are doing, and therefore the compliance is not voluntary at all. I believe this argument is fallacious, and that it is invariably presented by a kind of mental reflex action, and not as a result of conscious deliberation. … Does it really matter whether a young child has experienced any form of sexual arousal before? Does it really matter whether the child has any understanding of sex? Sex is just another source of pleasure, a potentially potent source perhaps, but basically little different to any other. If there is nothing objectionable about an adult giving a child sweets or toys, why is giving sexual pleasure wrong? … If a child does not want to go to court, has not told the parents about his or her sexual activities, and has shown no signs of upset or fear, then there is no justification for assuming the use of coercion. (more)
Today, Max backpedals:
In my foolish arrogance, I wrote about a topic that I was then too naïve to properly understand. … I was right to defend the free speech rights of a highly unpopular group. I was right to question the validity of a universal law of consent that ignores the maturity or lack of maturity of each individual. … Where I was wrong is in basing a view of maximal freedom on an inadequate conception of consent. Defining fully the conditions for real consent is difficult, but clearly lack of resistance is insufficient to indicate consent. If someone lacks understanding of what they are getting into, they may have agreed but have not consented. Consent requires agreement after thoughtful consideration. (more)
But we almost never understand the full implications of our actions. Who really understands the implications of getting married, having kids, choosing a career, or choosing a national citizenship? But we usually say adults consent to such things. So what does it take to enable consent?
When someone makes you an offer, it is reasonable to expect them to reveal possible downsides, and even to help you to hear from folks who recommend against accepting their offer. If your choice has a big effect on a third party (i.e., parents who’d fund a pregnancy), it can be reasonable to seek their approval. And if your choice isn’t very time critical, it is also reasonable to have some time to think it over. “Many people have come to regret this; George knows more. Tell me your choice tomorrow.”
Yes kids can make mistakes and we might want to limit their ability to make mistakes. But adults can make lots of mistakes too; why treat kids so differently? Yes people change over time, and so we may want to limit how much young folks can commit their older selves. And yes teen brains change more rapidly than adult brains. But if we let 20 year olds make huge commitments, like marriage or citizenship, that limit their quite different 60 year old selves, why shouldn’t we let 15 year olds make choices limiting their 25 year old selves. Do teen sex choices limit distant future choices anywhere near as much as do marriage, kids, careers, etc.?
Aside from the issues I’ve mentioned, my training in the social and human sciences doesn’t offer me any more analytical tools to distinguish thirteen year olds from adults regarding sexual consent. I’m not saying kids can resaonably consent; I’m just suggesting that standard theories offer little support for saying they can’t.
So why are we so reluctant to let kids make their own choices, and yet so adamant that similar adults choices should be free? One obvious explanation is status; we affirm our higher status as adults by limiting what kids can do. But I suspect there is more:
If culture is far, then in near mode we become more like a common universal human, and in far mode we diverge to become the different “subspecies” according to our different cultures. Culture being mainly far might help explain why … we are far more paternalistic toward kids than adults; perhaps we distrust kids as folks from other cultures, since kids have not yet fully diverged to join our subspecies.
My 6 year old cousin tried to get it on with me...
Same i am 13 and i really want to have sex, i have read a lot of articles and Wikipedia pages which talk about sex. Where I live, in Greece, the age of consent is 15 and there is also the close in age excemption law. So why the fuck do people say that teens aged between 13-17 cant give consent. Some countries and half of the states in the USA have the close in age excemption law.... So since its perfectly legal for a 13 year old to have sex in some countries why do people say that children can't give consent??? It depends on the country that you live in whether teenagers aged between 13-17 can legaly have sex. Why is it legal if psychologists say that children can't give consent and their brains are not delevoped enough. If you use protection, like condoms or birth control for the female, you are having sex just for thr pleasure like videogames, movies etc. I am never going to br satisfied with my life until I have sex. I hate it that teenagers aged 13 have to wait 3 or 5 years just to legally have sex in some countries. I am fucking jealous of all the adults having sex why the fuck should i be waiting so long for it to be moral to have sex because society made it a 18+ thing only. I understand why smoking and gambling are 18+, these are activities that can seriously harm your mental health and physical heath. But sex is a healthy and fun thing to do, if you use condoms you are probably gonna be fine and probable not going get a girl pregnant. And if you do, people forget that abortion exists..... Also even if you are 18 or above you can still get a woman pregnant even though that wasn't your intention and your intention was pleasure. Am I fucked up in the head? In England the first age of consent law was set to 12....So why the fuck have they been changing it ever since? I think the age of consent should be set to 13 everywhere. I know that will never happen because every country has its own laws but i would like it to be 13.