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I recently talked with a Christian college student who had just attended a wild party at another school, and who lamented that while folks there seemed to be having “fun” it wasn’t the “real joy” that she knew. I’ve heard similar feelings from folks who really like their favorite drug or sex style. I wonder, what fraction of folks feel smugly superior that favorite way of happiness/pleasure/joy/etc. is intrinsically superior to what most others have found? What evidence would it take for this to be a reasonable conclusion?
I also wonder: why are so many of us (including me) so reluctant to experiment with so many joys with strong fans? After all, fans argue, their suggested drug, sex style, or religious experience would only take a few hours to try, and could give us a lifetime of joy if we liked it. It seems we see far larger costs than the time for a trial. My guess: we value our current identity, integrated as it is into our job, hobbies, friends, etc. We fear that if we try new joys, we will like them, and jump to practicing them, which will change us. We fear that by jumping to juicy joys, we won’t be us anymore.
Jumping To Joy
I think the reasons why people are afraid to experiment with 'new joys' are also the reasons they use to reinforce their old choices and not experiment with anything new in general.
I do believe identity plays a part when making up their minds. A person carefully cultivates their identity over a long period of time in response to their own personal experience and it becomes an anchor to who they are. When faced with new choices they convince themselves that "This isn't me". This is perhaps done out of fear that they would dislodge themselves from the comfort of their identity that they've come to accept as true.
But i feel that a mindset of "finding your own bliss" is more useful and rewarding. The joy that a person derives from any activity is subjective. If you truly enjoy something then do it, irregardless of what other people think
The idea that people fear "not being themselves anymore" seems to have the flaw that a majority didn't start defining themselves by their psycological traits until the modern era. (Curing multiple personality disorder, for example, was considered a given if possible)