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In a prospective study among 199 newlywed couples, partners’ self-reported and perceived understanding and their knowledge in different domains were assessed. Understanding was independent of knowledge. Self-reported and perceived understanding predicted relationship well-being but neither type of knowledge did. Thus, subjectively feeling that one understands and is understood by one’s partner appears to be more important to relationship well-being than actually knowing and being known by one’s partner.
Women who roll their eyes at hearing “My wife doesn’t understand me” already know this:
In a prospective study among 199 newlywed couples, partners’ self-reported and perceived understanding and their knowledge in different domains were assessed. Understanding was independent of knowledge. Self-reported and perceived understanding predicted relationship well-being but neither type of knowledge did. Thus, subjectively feeling that one understands and is understood by one’s partner appears to be more important to relationship well-being than actually knowing and being known by one’s partner. (more; HT Rob Wiblin)
Men who roll their eyes at “He just makes me laugh” know something similar. We like some folks and dislike others, these feelings change over time, and for the most part we just don’t know why. So we make up vague socially-acceptable reasons, like “understands me” or “makes me laugh.”
Your Wife Does Understand You
This study seems to be deliberately obtuse. Let's take all situations where language is used imprecisely to suggest something that's well known but different from the literal interpretation of the words and PROVE that the literal interpretation is inaccurate. WoW! Next we'll show that "I'll love you forever" is commonly said even by couples who go on to get a divorce. And then we'll learn that women don't want to know the truth when they ask "Do I look fat in this?" Finally we'll study how men who insist they only love their wives and wouldn't look at other women will pay more attention to a photo of a hot chick than a photo of a plain one.
"Understanding was independent of knowledge." What does that mean? This seems to be misleading misuse of the word "understanding".
Did they mean "perceived knowledge" every place they said "understanding"?