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Stephen Diamond's avatar

Katja,

If you don't trust your friends suggestion that you should trust his friend, then it seems you think your friend lacks this insight.

Yes, you're right. (I think I slighted your stipulation that your friend recommends the further disclosure because in my experience, that doesn't much happen. But I trust your account of social practices more than mine, as you seem a more social being.

I think the solution goes back to construal-level theory (or do I just bring everything back to that?) A modal mismatch ( http://tinyurl.com/6pt9eq5  ) occurs when your friend assesses her friend's concern for your welfare. Since it's her (presumably close) friend, she makes a near-mode assessment. But since your friend's friend isn't your friend, you make a far-mode assessment of the second-order friend.

The far mode assessment yields the "insight," which involves general considerations about loyalties. Your friend is mired in near-mode--it's her close friend--which fails to discern any specific facts which would suggest that the second-order friend would betray.

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Katja Grace's avatar

If you don't trust your friends suggestion that you should trust his friend, then it seems you think your friend lacks this insight.

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