Imaging smelling good food you know that you cannot eat. This is probably a pleasant experience, if you’ve had enough other good food to eat lately. But it might be a painful experience if you were starving, or had long been living on a bland diet of rice and beans.
A better analogy, I believe, would be a person who has to go work in a five star restaurant everyday. They're capable of eating any kind of food, but only ever can get unsalted white rice. They've tried repeatedly to attain the food that other customers don't want, but it never works out. At night, they go home to watch TV, but even the commercials are full of delicious looking food. They fall asleep every night only to dream of food...any food, they eat the white rice they need to sustain them, and life goes on. Would you pity that person?
Denying that I could have had or could have your problem really saps my sympathy.
Involuntary celibacy is about unmet physical and emotional needs.
Physically, some women can't orgasm. Some women can't enjoy penetration. Some women can't enjoy being masturbated by most men. Most women can't physically enjoy walking out of their front door into a random willing man's home for a sex session. That inability to enjoy sex means the physical need goes unmet.
Emotionally, incels suffer from a lack of validation and being lusted after or loved among other things. It's widely acknowledged that men want to sleep with women they don't find attractive, both physically and mentally. "Men will sleep with anything" is a popular trope. Most women have seen men be mean to women they sleep with behind their backs, going as far as ridiculing their repulsive looks. Having sex with a woman doesn't translate to being attracted to, liking or loving that woman. Having sex with men doesn't translate to emotional validation.
OK, there are so many misconceptions here, and mostly from male commenters. So I will chip in as a woman, about a 5 if you want a number. So, you say we have to provide sex out of compassion to the needy? I have no argument here by the way. I am empathic by nature and I don't care about appearances. So, what do i do, approach a shy guy, post an ad on dating classifieds? Do you know that when you guys are approached by a woman and she is acting too attainable, your appreciation of her dives down, and you tend to think she is not worthy, and you guys then are not willing to please her? Yes, this is a big part of this equation. I am sex starved woman, looking not so bad. But I can not find a guy willing to do things that I want when I am excited. I need whole body stimulation. So, I don't need just a sex, some sex. I need the right sex. I can get excited for a not good looking guy, that's not a problem. But they get put off by my good will toward them. Or they might take it for granted and just release on me without wanting to please me. Women must act unattainable in order to entice a man to do things to please her. You guys turn into lazy lovers when a woman is not acting bitchy with you. And then you complain...So, us, not bitches, are bound to be sex starved and needy.
For that matter, "we" (average people) pity those without food because we're so far away from the strata where food is scarce. If we give the poor bread, there's no risk that they'll move in next door and lower our real-estate values. In a land where getting enough to eat is not guaranteed for the middle class, the middle class will advocate hanging those who steal a loaf of bread.
To the extent that money can be converted into sex, I suppose we do do redistribution of sex. But this whole approach ignores that sex is a social activity, not a commodity. Yes, how much wealth you have affects how much sex you have, but like all social activities, it's a rivalrous good, and the question is how much money you have *relative to* others that makes the difference. So the situation doesn't change as society becomes wealthier.
To carry the discussion to a logical extreme, we could advocate for outsourcing sex redistribution to cheap foreign workers, but currently importing prostitutes is not legal under the immigration act. (I've always wondered if that's to improve morals or simple protectionism.)
Simply not enjoying it. Being raped is obviously bad sex, and most womens' first times certainly aren't enjoyable due to the pain. Maybe the guy is too small, maybe the woman is too dry, or maybe someone simply fails to orgasm.
A better analogy, I believe, would be a person who has to go work in a five star restaurant everyday. They're capable of eating any kind of food, but only ever can get unsalted white rice. They've tried repeatedly to attain the food that other customers don't want, but it never works out. At night, they go home to watch TV, but even the commercials are full of delicious looking food. They fall asleep every night only to dream of food...any food, they eat the white rice they need to sustain them, and life goes on. Would you pity that person?
Why are so many obsessed with sex? Well, there's this thing called natural selection...
Denying that I could have had or could have your problem really saps my sympathy.
Involuntary celibacy is about unmet physical and emotional needs.
Physically, some women can't orgasm. Some women can't enjoy penetration. Some women can't enjoy being masturbated by most men. Most women can't physically enjoy walking out of their front door into a random willing man's home for a sex session. That inability to enjoy sex means the physical need goes unmet.
Emotionally, incels suffer from a lack of validation and being lusted after or loved among other things. It's widely acknowledged that men want to sleep with women they don't find attractive, both physically and mentally. "Men will sleep with anything" is a popular trope. Most women have seen men be mean to women they sleep with behind their backs, going as far as ridiculing their repulsive looks. Having sex with a woman doesn't translate to being attracted to, liking or loving that woman. Having sex with men doesn't translate to emotional validation.
It's a traumatic truth, but it is a truth nonetheless.
If so, contact me at Underskore2006 (at H0tmail uk, etc.)
Veta, are you in the UK and still looking?
Veta, are you in the UK?
I know that feeling, I killed myself in a live action movie because of it!
Glad to hear it. Hope there is more to your "fine" then this basic requirement?
Yeah, i am fine. Not gonna kill anybody.
Hey, Adel, you still with us? That was a disturbing comment you wrote a year ago. How is your state of mind these days?
OK, there are so many misconceptions here, and mostly from male commenters. So I will chip in as a woman, about a 5 if you want a number. So, you say we have to provide sex out of compassion to the needy? I have no argument here by the way. I am empathic by nature and I don't care about appearances. So, what do i do, approach a shy guy, post an ad on dating classifieds? Do you know that when you guys are approached by a woman and she is acting too attainable, your appreciation of her dives down, and you tend to think she is not worthy, and you guys then are not willing to please her? Yes, this is a big part of this equation. I am sex starved woman, looking not so bad. But I can not find a guy willing to do things that I want when I am excited. I need whole body stimulation. So, I don't need just a sex, some sex. I need the right sex. I can get excited for a not good looking guy, that's not a problem. But they get put off by my good will toward them. Or they might take it for granted and just release on me without wanting to please me. Women must act unattainable in order to entice a man to do things to please her. You guys turn into lazy lovers when a woman is not acting bitchy with you. And then you complain...So, us, not bitches, are bound to be sex starved and needy.
For that matter, "we" (average people) pity those without food because we're so far away from the strata where food is scarce. If we give the poor bread, there's no risk that they'll move in next door and lower our real-estate values. In a land where getting enough to eat is not guaranteed for the middle class, the middle class will advocate hanging those who steal a loaf of bread.
To the extent that money can be converted into sex, I suppose we do do redistribution of sex. But this whole approach ignores that sex is a social activity, not a commodity. Yes, how much wealth you have affects how much sex you have, but like all social activities, it's a rivalrous good, and the question is how much money you have *relative to* others that makes the difference. So the situation doesn't change as society becomes wealthier.
To carry the discussion to a logical extreme, we could advocate for outsourcing sex redistribution to cheap foreign workers, but currently importing prostitutes is not legal under the immigration act. (I've always wondered if that's to improve morals or simple protectionism.)
Doing the statistics for males from 25 to 44 is rather odd, because it leaves out the horniest fraction, those from 15 to 25.
Simply not enjoying it. Being raped is obviously bad sex, and most womens' first times certainly aren't enjoyable due to the pain. Maybe the guy is too small, maybe the woman is too dry, or maybe someone simply fails to orgasm.