Never Tell Me The Odds
We could learn lots about what others think of us if we would just ask our associates directly. But we mostly don’t, mainly because we are afraid of what we might hear:
People control the nature of their relationships, in part, by choosing to enter (or avoid) situations providing feedback about other people’s social interest. … Individuals experimentally primed to feel avoidant were less likely than those primed to feel secure to choose to receive feedback about how another person felt about them. Overall, the research suggests that choices of socially diagnostic versus socially nondiagnostic situations play an important role in guiding people’s social relationships.