We could learn lots about what others think of us if we would just ask our associates directly. But we mostly don’t, mainly because we are afraid of what we might hear:
People control the nature of their relationships, in part, by choosing to enter (or avoid) situations providing feedback about other people’s social interest. … Individuals experimentally primed to feel avoidant were less likely than those primed to feel secure to choose to receive feedback about how another person felt about them. Overall, the research suggests that choices of socially diagnostic versus socially nondiagnostic situations play an important role in guiding people’s social relationships.
I agree. Modern social sites that support per-comment karma have almost completely replaced the older web forums that did not. They allow psuedonymous participants to get immediate, clear feedback with little or no social, financial, or other risk.
Individuals experimentally primed to feel avoidant were less likely than those primed to feel secure to choose to receive feedback about how another person felt about them.How is this an experiment? Was there any hypothesis that predicted that those primed to feel avoidant would be more likely to choose to receive feedback?