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Overcoming Bias Commenter's avatar

hmm I wonder if the respose to the quotes has anything to do with how likely one is to honestly forget taking out the trash. I forget to do things all the time, and so find the refrazing useful. (I also would most likely already be feeling guilty about it)

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Overcoming Bias Commenter's avatar

@ Patri: Isn't this the same idea as "separate the position from the people while negotiating" in Ury and Fisher's "Getting to Yes"?

The key flaw here is to frame the entire issue in a cognitive, wholly rational frame. Rationality is bounded, mainly because in practice human cognition has limitations. Unless factors such as the power imbalance and unstated agendas are taken into account, the problem will not be solved using just rational framings.

The person who quoted Calvin is spot-on but the parent has to remember and exercise some authority over the child. Some things are non-negotiable (tidying your room, washing your hands before eating etc), and for everything else, it is worth remembering that the other party is also a learning entity.

@ Stu: FWIW I was a very naughty and hyperactive child, who was often punished as an example to my siblings who are exceptionally well-behaved and polite. I still got straight As through school, college, and triple dose of graduate school. There was some negotiation with my father, there were some rewards, but mostly there were house rules which we followed without so much as a peep.

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