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One of my relatives does consistently give cash (and only cash) to me and at least one other family member on Christmas, though we don't do the same in reverse. In my experience this works out well for all people involved.

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Note that even when people give out a wish-list, it tends to be an actual list, and not just a single item that they want from each person. (I recall a South Park episode where Cartman requests a specific gift from each friend, in order to avoid the duplicate gift phenomenon, but of course this just reinforces Cartman's image as very crass.) I agree with jimrandomh's point that a gift retains an association with the giver in many cases, but I'd also want to stress that this is a two-way phenomenon. The recipient is more likely to think about the giver when using or seeing or thinking about the gift, but the giver is also more likely to think about her connection to the recipient on seeing the recipient using the gift. This feeling of connection is strengthened when the giver specifically chooses the gift. Presumably, the effect is strongest if the giver chose the gift from the universe of all possible gifts, but I suspect that it's still pretty strong even if there were only two permissible choices. If I were to choose between a stylish sweater and an iPod for a friend, then I would at least be reminded of my role in my friend's life each time I see her with either the sweater or iPod, and she would be reminded of my role in her life each time she uses one or the other. However, if she had just told me to buy the sweater, or told me to buy the iPod, this would deny me any agency in her life (at least with respect to this one salient choice), and (provided our relationship is a good one) thinking about my agency in her life is a benefit for both of us.

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