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Boris Smus's avatar

An excellent science fiction where ritual is central: https://en.wikipedia.org/wi...

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kibitzer9's avatar

Nice post...so true.

Formal balls and dances -- as described in Jane Austen (eg Pride and Prejudice) and Tolstoy (plenty in War and Peace) -- had some quite rigid rules of behaviour. There was a fixed number of scheduled dances, and each woman had a dance card, and people would book dances with each other by writing them on the card. In some circles in the UK, this still happened as late as the sixties, but it then completely disappeared.

It's a pity, because this system offered a lot of social structure and a place for everyone (everyone who was invited, that is). The host would take care to invite approximately equal numbers of men and women, and it was rude not to dance, so by the pigeonhole principle, everyone got some dances (of course, possibly not with who they wanted). As a man, it was polite to at least ask your hostess to dance... There were conventions about how to dance - you were supposed to know certain steps. People of all ages and generations were present. There were rules about who you should talk to, and who could address whom first. You were supposed to mix and talk with a number of people. Couples were not supposed to stay together for the entire evening.

Why did these occasions disappear? I don't know. All the rules seemed stuffy and boring, and it didn't fit with the 60s 'class free' society.. But we've all been to unstructured parties where people don't know how to mix, nobody knows how to do any dance well, everyone is clumsily negotiating vague social conventions so that nobody knows quite what to do...

Which system was better? I really don't know :)

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