Author Archives: Michael Vassar

Sex, Nerds, and Entitlement

In Should Bad Boys Win, the question arose of whether the legendary "nice guys" who finish last, are actually nice.  Several commenters proposed that "nice guys" feel entitled to sex, and are liars.

It does appear to me that many older and more bitter nerds do feel entitled to something.  This sounds like a turn-off; but according to the seduction community and other repositories of male wisdom such as Richard Feynman, one of the main effective strategies for attracting women is learning to project entitlement:  To convey that you expect a woman to wish to have sex with you.

I normally have fairly low regard for evolutionary psychology, especially post-hoc.  But here it seems to fit the bill really nicely; so I’m going to speculate a bit on what entitlement might signify in the environment of evolutionary adaptedness.

Displaying feelings of sexual entitlement would have been, in a tribal setting, a strong signal of dominance and actual access to sex. These traits would be associated with genes valuable in male offspring provided that either the father could be convinced to provide resources or the environment was such that they did not need to.  It might also indicate that it was physically dangerous to refuse him sexually, and relatively socially safe to accede.

In contrast, displaying feelings of thwarted entitlement would be a huge neon warning sign of low fitness.

Not only does this guy not have high status, his systems for judging his own status are broken. This is a hugely costly defect.  Association with him may be dangerous both physically and socially, prior to his impending demise.  Big red letters are flashing KEEP AWAY.

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