Comments on: Prefer Ignorant Fans

By: Ignorance is Bliss? | Radical Ignorance

Ignorance is Bliss? | Radical Ignorance — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:23:46 +0000

[...] contrarian Robin Hanson has gotten me to think really hard about interpersonal psychology. In this post, he argues that we prefer someone to be ignorant in why they like us. I initially disagreed with [...]

By: ThePenscileFamily

ThePenscileFamily — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:10:19 +0000

Pinker once said the best compliment you can give a lover is that you love them because you can’t help it.

(or something like that)

By: Josh Weil

Josh Weil — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:41:33 +0000

Doesn’t having ignorant fans create stress because we are uncertain that they will continue liking us? It’s unsustainable for someone to like me for something I am not. I may prefer in the short term an acquaintance to be more ignorant and like me, but it seems to me people like close friends are a different case.

By: Tom P

Tom P — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 23:01:07 +0000

It seems like the quote about smart/pretty women has more to do with how people like to be complimented on things they are insecure about rather than on things they already know they are good at.

In my experience people love very specific compliments about things that they are insecure about. Those details make the compliment seem more believable.

To some extent this is an independent effect from what you are proposing Robin.

By: Shae

Shae — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:44:11 +0000

This post reminds me of Ayn Rand’s comments on why “unconditional love” is unflattering, even though people seem to want it.

By: db

db — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:27:26 +0000

IMO, the precedent in Grant’s arguments is true. We largely like because we are liked, and vice versa. Liking or being liked triggers the pleroma of cognitive biases that make life so interesting and exciting. There’s something to be said for the evolutionary stability of those biases etc.

By: Grant

Grant — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:20:22 +0000

If the trait valued is loyalty and reciprocation, especially by both parties, then IMO the fear that someone else may temporarily outrank you becomes much less important.

Of course, allowing certain traits to change can be a display of disloyalty (e.g. a spouse not working, gaining too much weight, etc.).

By: Robin Hanson

Robin Hanson — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:32:36 +0000

The post is about ignorance of what you like about people, not ignorance of the details of their features.

By: Recomendaciones « intelib

Recomendaciones « intelib — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 09:54:19 +0000

[...] Prefer Ignorant Fans, by Robin Hanson [...]

By: me

me — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 01:29:32 +0000

When someone likes you for reasons they don’t understand, you feel higher status. Conversely, understanding why you like someone makes you feel like you have more control over yourself with that person and thus higher status. Knowing why you’re attracted to someone can hurt you if you want to feel lower status to the person you’re attracted to i.e. women attracted to men.