Comments on: For The Truth, Ask Friends

By: To truly know yourself, watch your actions not your feelings « Robert Wiblin

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 08:03:18 +0000

[...] and feel things that we really don’t, so it is possible that we know ourselves less well than friends who don’t have to maintain those [...]

By: What do trust and sharing do to reputations? « Meteuphoric

What do trust and sharing do to reputations? « Meteuphoric — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:34:44 +0000

[...] It would make him think I don’t trust his account of himself. Which would usually be entirely sensible of course. Out of earshot we might passionately use gossip and status cues to keep track of [...]

By: Excelente blog…ti hace pnsr, creo? creo crei creere!! « Diego Gonzalez

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:55:52 +0000

[...] For The Truth, Ask Friends [...]

By: James Andrix

James Andrix — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:01:11 +0000

I second Hrishi Mittal, hearing many of your friends tell you what they think you will do will influence your behavior.

We would need a study that polls a persons friends without the person knowing the results, or asking for any advice they normally would not.

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:26:23 +0000

Robin,

How do you square this with Bryan’s doubts about the existence of fundamental attribution error? It seems that if you accept the premise laid out by John Bargh above, then you do not share Bryan’s sentiments. Do I understand that correctly?

By: Robin Hanson

Robin Hanson — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:22:09 +0000

Hrishi, in the story above what your friends know, and you may not know, is that you want the shallow signal just as much as they do.

Yes, what we need it is a good standard list of questions to ask your friends, so that your in particular asking them signals less about you.

By: bcg

bcg — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 16:56:08 +0000

But nobody wants to look so needy for validation or so unsure of who they are that they ask their friends. It is a good way to scare off some otherwise good people.

By: Hrishi Mittal

Hrishi Mittal — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:03:59 +0000

Robin, this post and yesterday’s post seem contradictory to me.

Will friends (or other people who know us well) tell us the truth or just tell us what shallow signals they would like us to signal? Such as going to Stanford.

By: George

George — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 12:12:35 +0000

Another approach is to ask: WWTAPD? (“What would the average person do?”) Since we tend to see ourselves as more different from others than we actually are, one way to try to short circuit this bias is using “the average person” as our surrogate in the decision-making process. (see Stumbling on Happiness, hardcover p. 229+)