duh

Now women say we don’t look we are creative, we fantasize scenarios where girl meets handsome prince (er…Cinderella) and is whisked off, but nowadays its all about out and out sex.

Well, now the movie “The Full Monty” from Australia put a new twist to Women’s Porn….it’s called CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Males) and now it’s come home to roost with the granddaddy of cfnm sites, its here in the USA, and it’s these buffed long appendaged “Dancing Bears” guys!

Here in America, this http://www.DancingBear.com depicts blatant sex, fellatio, intercourse, exhibitionism, all initiated by young attractive American women (all races) and very in your face

Now this puts to rest the assertion that women don’t look, guys only do! That is horse crap and a big lie. This phenomenon, CFNM proves that women get just a horny as men, and perhaps even more so!!!!, maybe, and this to me is very liberating as we men don’t have to (or at least all this will morph into) us men being the macho psychotic and can act natural instead; and maybe these women will “pick us up” these “modern horny women” will take the initiative with us guys, ask us out, pay for the date, especially if she makes more money! So she undoes the first button, and caresses the first private part….drops us home and calls us the next day to ask if it was good for us!!! Hah hah hah…”Woman, walk a mile in our shoes” and we can say “What do you want me for my body and not for my mind?” or “I don’t give my number out to strange women” hah hah hah again…

Duh…the key word is FIRST….now we know for sure they get just as concupiscent and animalistic. If a man ever did this in a female strip joint he would be immediately deep sixed…..these women get away with bloody murder.

Now if they wear high heels, paint their toes, lip gloss, mascara, eyebrow pencil and make-up (some have called it “man-repellant”) then they have to accept they will be looked at as PREY and we will be the heavies, the PREDATORS, and thinking out loud, why don’t these dolled up women sashay in that tantalizing hip shaking suave way, walk up to us and initiate sex big time….

Am I pissing in the air, or am I pissing in the air???

other cfnm sites:
from the Czech Republic http://www.PartyHardcore.com
from England http://www.LoverBoysUSA.com
and the Mother of all cfnm sites http://www.SpamFreeCFNM.com

The weight of the courtship ritual – the responsibility of initiating it – is on young men, and it is up to them to figure out how to successfully make that happen in a culture that gives them only incoherent and contradictory signals regarding how to go about it. Socially stunted women don’t shoot up their colleges and remain virgins until age 40, they merely end up in relationships with men who don’t respect them. The point is that they are still capable of having relationships and have a far greater likelihood of acheiving at least some degree of intimacy. This is a far superior posittion to be in than the socially stunted male, No female is going to court him. He’ll likely just blow his brains out – oh wait, the male sucidie rate is four times that of the female sucide rate. I guess that’s how it works.

You mentioned studies, there are quite a few interesting studies on gender differences in college freshmen. Almost every study has found that men report more difficulties making friends, more substance abuse, and a greater likelihood to think of themselves as “losers,” while women generally have an easier time making friends, reporting feelings of social satisfaction, and are more likely to report being in a relationship.

Another great study shows that obese women have just as active sex lives as those who are thin, and may possibly be having more sex. Clearly, whatever social pressurs women may feel to be thin and attractive are exaggerated, while the male suicide rate and instances of lonely loser virgin males shooting up their schools suggests that social pressures applied to men *by women* are not exaggerated at all.

I’d wager that women are to blame, because they have little reason to question their own expectations of men, which are never morally suspect, while men, who if they are 30 years of age, grew up with post 60s identity politics, talk shows about girls and self esteem, sensitivity training, and endless characterizations of piggish and insensitive men in movies and in sitcoms.

I wouldn’t blame this on romance novels necessarily, but rather on the cultural context in which they are consumed. The same female desires that make the idealized men in romance novels so attractive are at the root of marital dysfunction to the extent that women are responsible for it.

Remember that women live their lives in a sea of potential mates who drop out of the sky at a moments notice and jostle and compete for their attention. They are the courted, not the courters. Naturally, given this lofty position of power (and it is power), their needs, desires, and expectations would take precedent in all but the most uncommon of instances (namely, if the male in question is wealthy, powerful, uncommonly physically attractive, etc.).

Of course women have unrealistic expectations of men and look for two dimensional representations of masculinity rather than real human beings, just as any man who expects a barbie doll has unrealistic expectations of women. If romance novels are not a cause, they are at least a symptom.

That type of complaint is made by non-romance-reading men and women (mostly women; f’rex; my take here). It often originates with conservative religious organizations (f’rex). Some of the complaints are about sex in the novels; some are about modern romance’s portrayal of female characters as independent, and yes, even downright demanding (oh no!). OTOH there’s an old guard of feminists who despise romance novels as reinforcing traditional female roles. I can argue for and against any of these criticisms, but what all the complaints have in common is the belief that reading romance is harmful to women’s minds, and that seems a dicey proposition.

@ferridder: “Objection: Assumes facts (”romance novels hurt relationships”) not in evidence.”

Yes, and what a common chestnut it is. First off, porn and romance are quite different stylistically; in general someone looking for one-handed reading wouldn’t turn to romance, as there’s not enough, shall we say, bang for buck. Second, why is romance singled out as the harmful genre? Why isn’t reading about serial killers more likely to harm women? (Or men?) Or watching soaps? (@ John Salisbury: I agree, soaps are the more porntastic form.)

The fear that romantic fiction corrupts the mind is an old idea. In Sesame and Lilies (1865), Ruskin wrote that “the best romance becomes dangerous, if, by its excitement, it renders the ordinary course of life uninteresting.” Jane Austen’s Sanditon (unfinished) pokes fun at the idea with a male character who is addicted to Gothic novels and has lost touch with reality. The Victorians especially focused on detrimental effects to women–the more impressionable sex, natch.

@Silas: “romance novels glorify what in the real world would be called rape”

That certainly used to be the case, in the era of the old “bodice ripper”. (Its heyday was the historical romances of the 1970s.) I agree with Caledonian on the explanation. Back in the day, the female character couldn’t be a “good” woman if she was too willing; you can see that expressed in ’50s pulp. By the ’70s, women were expected to be sexual beings but the lessons of earlier times still held; the resist-then-acquiesce story permitted the heroine to be sexual but absolved her of blame, particularly since the acquiescence was part of finding true love.

Nowadays, any hint of rape in a romance creates controversy. There are plenty of unlikable male characters in the genre, but in general there’s a line they don’t cross. On the female side, however, there’s still a distinct conflict over female virtue. Romance heroines are no longer expected to fall in love with their rapists, but there’s a startling number of virgin female characters in the genre, and the heroine’s sexual past can be a touchy issue.

@Roga: “perhaps we should try combining the two genres into romantic porn”

Are you aware of erotic romance (also called romantica)? It’s a booming subgenre with high sales. In the best examples, both the sex and the romance are essential and blended in the story.

@Felix: “Want to experience something odd? Check out one of the above in CD from your local library. Then listen to an explicit sex scene”

Romance audiobooks really are fascinating that way. I listened to a Jennifer Crusie recently, and the sex scene somehow seemed more startling to the ear than when I’d read the book.

@Pablo Stafforini: Not knowing your taste, it’s difficult to make recommendations. Crusie’s Agnes and the Hitman, written with Bob Mayer, is a fast-paced crime-caper romantic comedy. Felix recommended Nora Roberts; I prefer her futuristic police procedural romances written as JD Robb (especially the early works). If you prefer something more historical, Pam Rosenthal’s The Slightest Provocation portrays a couple warring over love and politics; or there’s Georgette Heyer’s An Infamous Army: A Novel of Wellington, Waterloo, Love and War. There’s also a vast amount of romantic suspense and urban fantasy romance; both of those subgenres can get gory, if that’s your taste. Then there’s literary romance such as Mary Gordon’s Spending.

@Doug S: “Does Mercedes Lackey count as a writer of romance novels?”

She’s one of the cross-genre authors who’s a favorite of many romance readers. Her writing partner Roberta Gellis is a renowned author of well-researched historical romance.

@Thomas R: “Men, get in touch with your feminine side and choose a woman who prefers detective novels to romance novels. Women, get in touch with your masculine side and choose a man who prefers Jane Austen to spy thrillers.”

The RWA’s surveys find that most romance readers are voracious readers in a number of genres. Studies also find that whereas men rarely read books by or about women, women read books by and about both sexes. That’s another reason men are unlikely to have read romance novels (or be aware of their content). Perhaps it also indicates that women are likely to share their male partners’ reading tastes, while men are unlikely to read romance.

(Though apparently some 20% of romance reader are men, while as Pablo points out, a growing number of women admit to enjoying porn; perhaps this entire question is becoming moot.)

Women, get in touch with your masculine side and choose a man who prefers Jane Austen to spy thrillers.

Gay, celibate people: I’ve no idea — have a nice day!

Si las mujeres se quejan que el porno daña las relaciones por ser fuente de falsas expectativas, ¿por qué no se quejan los hombres de que las novelas románticas dañan las relaciones proporcionando a la mujeres falsas expectativas?. ¿Por qué tanto…